Friday, 10 April 2009

A letter to Billy Bob Thornton

Dear Billy Bob,

I can call you Billy Bob can I? I ask because recent events seem to show you are a bit tetchy about stuff and I just want to make sure I not crossing a line I ought not to. Particularly after I read about your recent visit to the Canadian Radio station, CBC.

Apparently you were there to promote your Band, The Boxmasters and got a bit peeved when you were referred to as an "Oscar-winning actor".

Now first things first. How did I miss this music thing? Are you doing a Joaquin Phoenix and completely changing career direction? At 53 that's seriously brave decision as they say, but if it is what floats you boat then cool.

However what ever you are doing or decide to do music-wise, it is worth remembering that the only reason a top Radio station like that is giving you the time of day, is because you are an "Oscar-winning actor"!

Dude you need to get real, if you were just ordinary Billy Bob Thornton from Wapello, Idaho or some other backwater do you you think you could just swan into a radio station with folks fawning all over you? No! Granted you've been doing the music thing for a while but lets be honest you ain't the first actor to dabble into other areas. Folks like Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, Russell Crowe amongst others have all done it, but the key thing is to remember what puts food on your table, so to speak.

So by all means buy a tour van, get a few friends together, perform at trendy intimate gigs, but don't ever get upset about being called an actor, because to be honest that's the only reason millions of people like me have ever heard of you.

p.s. I was pleasantly surprised to see your band has an album for sale on Amazon and is the 836th best seller in the music section, so I guess you might actually not be that bad.

p.p.s The insulting a whole country thing, that never going to fly. You are probably now a persona non grata anywhere north of Niagara

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