Saturday, 28 February 2009

10 things Fred "The Shred" Goodwin can spend his dosh on

It goes without saying the Fred "The Shred" Goodwin is the Villain of the Month. Fred is being credited with reducing the UK's biggest bank, the Royal Bank of Scotland to a shadow of its former self and forced to go begging cap in hand to the government for cash to survive.

If that was not enough when the news came out that the "reward" to Fred for doing this was a £700,000 a year pension pay off, the nation went into apoplexy. The government, media and almost the whole country called on Mr Goodwin to do the decent thing and give up some or all of the pension, but once a hard-nosed banker, always a hard nosed banker. True to form he told them to 'eff-off' (obviously in a much politer way).

Now he is already filthy rich so the pension is just extra cash to play with, but what can the bad boy of British Banking do with all this extra dosh? Here are ten recommendations from us:

  1. He might be feeling like the mythical Japanese workers who got sacked and pretended to go to work everyday but instead idled away thier time in the local park. We understand it takes awhile to adjust. He could the same thing, but in style. For £500 he can get a return flight from Edinburgh to London, Business Class of course! 5 Days a week that's £125,000 to you sir.

  2. We obviously can't have Mrs 'Shred' getting up in the wee hours of the morning and disrupting her beauty sleep, so why not get a chauffeur driven Mercedes S-Class for the trip to and from the airport. A snip at £250 a day or £62,500 a year

  3. So what's for Lunch? We recommend a MacDonald Sandwich, no not that MacDonald's ! It's a Selfridge's MacDonald Sandwich made from the finest, freshest ingredients available including hand reared Wagyu beef and 24-hour fermented sour dough bread and retails for a mouthwatering £85 a pop. A year's supply for lunch during the working week will set Goodwin back only £20,000

  4. He's got a chauffeur and a late evening flight back to Edinburgh so no worries about making it home. He can comfortably yield to some of the world's best restaurant that London has to offer. Restaurant Gordon Ramsay in Chelsea will do you a slap up meal including tips for £107 now you can't get better than that can you, not for £26,750 a year.

  5. Before we forget London is also a great spot for shopping; He could pick a Patek Philippe Perpetual Calendar watch for £30,000 and an Asprey Cut Ladies Gold Jewellery Watch for the missus at £23,000. As a man who loves his shooting might also pop into Farlow's of Pall Mall for some new shooting gear, probably set him back £5,000 or so, and another great gift for Mrs Goodwin would be the ornate Marie Antionette replica slippers made by Christian Louboutin and the French embroidery house Lesage. £4,000 a pair. Bargain!

  6. Now like all retired couples, with the kids, grown up it is a great time to explore the rest of the world. A typical trip could be a weekend jaunt to Europe, say Paris. Where to stay? No problems, the Belle Etoile Suite at the Hotel Meurice at £14,000 for a weekend break would be ideal. 20 weekend breaks at the same level of style over the year only £280,000.

  7. With all the fine dining and luxurious lifestyle, it wont go amiss to watch that midriff, so why not have a set of His and Hers personal trainers at £100 a week per trainer, that would be a £10,400 well spent.

  8. If the Goodwins wish to thank friends and colleagues for making such a comfortable retirement possible, nothing better than the occasional gourmet dinner party for a 100 or so close friends and associates with items like seared scallops, margret of duck, Assiette du fromage, Cointreau torte and other delicacies on the menu. What's £4500 betweeen friends every other week (if we are being pedantic about £90,000 )

  9. As a proud Scotsman I am sure Fred is proud of his local fare so would no doubt looksFre forward to a special Buccleuch estate haggis, the world's most expensive at £2,500 and followed by a few sips of Glenfiddich Rare Collection 1937 at £20,000 a bottle.

  10. We still have about £150,000 left for the year time to get seriously frivolous. Let's hit the ten most expensive things on Ebay, cos the next chunk of £700,000 is already on its way.

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